A Wandering Heart

I would not consider myself a creature of habit. Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to travel and go places, so staying put, or rather being home, has left me somewhat discontent.

Although I’ve had the great opportunity to travel a lot this summer, this feeling still persists. It wasn’t until this week when I was reading a newsletter from one of my missionary friends that I realized why this was, I’m not “on the field”. A missionary lingo for being in the country you’re working in is being on the field, and when I realized that the lightbulb finally went off. I’m just not doing the work I’ve been called to! So I am feeling unfulfilled because I’m not doing the work of the Lord!

Then the second lightbulb went off. I’m not doing the work of the Lord. Sure I volunteer with my youth group, and my current works is to invite churches to be a part of my journey to Ireland, but I have even admitted to not wanting to commit to too much responsibility or really try to connect with people because I knew I was leaving and I was afraid of doing more damage than good. I was waiting to be “on the field”.

When I told one of my mentors about this, he told me that it’s extremely common with missionaries to have trouble with this grow where you’re planted mentality. My heart may be in Ireland, but the rest of my body is just taking up space in California! So I guess the real challenge is committing to the place I’m in right now, serving them the best I can and praying that when I do leave, God will inspire others to grow where they are planted as well.

We are always on the field. So go forth and make disciples of all nations, states, cities, and neighborhoods.